Faith

Last night I had one of those life-changing conversations, one of those interactions with other people that is exciting and encouraging and, ultimately, true.

Interestingly enough, the whole thing developed after a discussion about the internet, and even more precisely, about blogging. Does it truly bring people together? Or is it a symptom of our separation and distance and the atomization of modern life? Are we talking to a void? Despite over a year of blogging on this webpage, I don't know how to answer those questions, and I only can speak to what motivates me to write: to keep family and friends up to date on my life, to practice a different kind of writing than my poetry or my academic work, to speak about the things that otherwise might just be bottled up, to allow myself to laugh, to muse, to ramble.

But that's not quite what I meant to write about, either. At that point, the conversation turned toward matters of faith, and my friend and I were up until four in the morning discussing what it means to believe in God, what it means to know that he exists, and what, then, that means for our lives. How to live a life that is beautiful, how to live beautifully.

While she has come recently to this conviction, and is still searching for answers, for me it sometimes is so familiar that it is an invigorating thing to state afresh what it is that I believe, especially to someone so genuinely curious and open to what I have to say. My beliefs are Christian, and in many senses traditional, and I find that the challenge is to explain them humbly, in a way that doesn't ring of piousness, rightwing political catchphrases, Christianese, closed-minded fundamentalism, or hellfire-and-brimstone preachiness. To find new language to state the things in my heart that matter most.

I hope that I spoke clearly, I pray that I spoke truly, and I know that her enthusiasm and joy were a gift to me. And that is what I am thankful for today.