13 January 2012

On Facebook

So, I finally took the plunge and joined Facebook. I told myself I would do it after I finished the PhD, and now's the time. I am eager to finally feel like I'm in the loop--so many announcements and people assuming I knew things that I totally didn't know! (Mostly about pregnancies and babies born and so forth.) It'll be nice to be able to stay in touch more easily with distant family members and far-away friends. I would check the Mister's account every once in a while, but he wasn't friends with all of my friends/family, and their posts would often be buried under the avalanche of semi-acquaintances and political "friend"-ings and world news updates on his Facebook page. Now, hopefully, I can stay up to date, and people can keep tabs on me. I do hope that it's not too much of a time suck or a privacy complication (I've already configured my settings so that things tend towards the private, I hope).

One thing I'm not sure about, however, is whether to put this website on my Facebook page. Do I really want every person who friends me or whom I friend to read my blog (and its archives...)? I guess I've set myself up for this by having a public blog, but I don't know if I'm ready for ALL the people to read... Ugh, I guess I should just take the plunge. It's one thing to know that my immediate family and close friends are reading this blog, plus any other people who stumble on it but I don't know in real life, or online friends. It's another to realize that many of the people I know in real life, maybe some not that well, plus extended family--anyone who's my Facebook friend--can read about all the ups and downs of our experiences. Still, it's not like my blog is totally intimate or embarrassing, right? It's hard to judge because even detailing, as in the last post, the particulars of this pregnancy might come off as TMI for some. (I do realize I want it both ways: I want to put my thoughts out there, but I want to keep control over who sees those thoughts, probably impossible to reconcile...)

A related question. I've made a couple of friends here so far, moms my age who have young kids Gabriel's age, one through church and one through daycare, and I'm really excited about it. They're both American (although I'd also love to make some Belgian friends), one of them has two kids and is doing a lit PhD, like me (or like I *did*!) and the other is pregnant with her second, like me. Anyway. Should I tell them about the blog? On one hand, it might fast-forward the getting-to-know you stage, but on the other, the getting-to-know you would be completely one-sided. And maybe too much for the first steps of early friendship. Maybe a little awkward? Perhaps if they friend me on Facebook, and I do end up posting my blog there, they'll find it anyway. I guess we'll just see if it comes up naturally...

[Edited to add: There's one other major consideration I just thought of. Facebook uses my real name, and the Mister's, and has a lot of the information that I have tried to at least keep somewhat anonymous here. Would linking from Facebook to the blog compromise that semi-anonymity?]

6 comments:

Sara said...

Facebook?!? Yay! I need to find you! And yes the do I share my blog is a tough one...I do..but I keep my blog community oriented kind of so...that is the thought of sharing. Anywya. Congrats on so much! Dr. Robin ;) yay! So proud and happy for you. (Sara)

Sara said...

Facebook?!? Yay! I need to find you! And yes the do I share my blog is a tough one...I do..but I keep my blog community oriented kind of so...that is the thought of sharing. Anywya. Congrats on so much! Dr. Robin ;) yay! So proud and happy for you. (Sara)

Caela said...

I say you're wise to keep it private (not on fb). You can always change your mind later. Or you could even put a note on fb that says something like, "I blog about my life regularly. If you want the link, send me a message!' and then you can just ignore messages from anyone you don't want to share with.

Once you share, it's shared, you know? But you can always give people MORE info later. Facebook and all the privacy implications are probably overwhelming enough at the moment!

Robin said...

Thanks for the input. You're totally right, Caela--I can always opt to give more info later.

Rachel said...

As part of your extended family, I've loved keeping up with what you and the Mister and G are up to. It was also neat to discover I'm not the only one in the family doing the family bed thing. :) As far as the blog/FB thing goes, you can control whose friend requests you accept, so you can control better with FB than you can with the wild wild internet who gets your blog info. Also, as long as you don't link to Facebook from your blog, your and the Mister's real names on FB won't affect the anonymity in that direction. People who visit the blog from FB will know it's you, but people who visit the blog won't be able to see your FB, you know? I don't think any of it is TMI, but then again, I've got my own blog up and running. :) Congrats on the new wee one, sorry I missed you while you were on the East coast, and hope to see you during your next visit stateside!

Robin said...

Hi Rachel! I'm glad you're reading! You're right, the blog on Facebook thing is uni-directional, so that's a safeguard. I'm holding off for now, but we'll see. Yes, I wish I had gotten over to Lexington to see you and Molly and Anna--those were a few hectic days!!!